Bloopers and Behind the Scenes!
by Nemarra
Summary: Everyone loves bloopers. Let see what it really took to film all five seasons of Teen Titans! Mostly drabble so it's always considered "Complete". Rated T for mild language, and adult humour AKA perverted humour .
1. Divide and Conquer

_Hello! Welcome to Bloopers, Interviews, and Behind the Scenes of our fav show; Teen Titans! Pretty much I'm going through every episode and making up stuff for the purpose of comedy and anti-bordom. Episodes are in order so stay tooned for jokes about your personal favorite Episode :)_

_Let's begin!_

**Divide and Conquer**

Beamed:

"Alright, so in this shot, Cinderblock, your going to have lasers fired at you," instructed the director. "It's not going to hurt cause your made of stone. Is that okay?" Cinderblock got up from his cast chair. "Okay, like, whatever," he said with the utmost girlish voice the large creature could muster. "Just make sure fefe gets his walk and tell Starfire to stop going through my purse."

The director's continued to hold his smile despite it obviously being forced. He ignored the twitch in his eyebrow. "Whatever you say," he gritted his teeth.

"Oh, and can I where my tutu for this?" Cinderblock asked with schoolgirl glee. The director's eye began to twitch more.

Not far off three gun specialist were getting in costume to operate the laser guns. The one where the number three looked from Cinderblock and the director to his comrades. "Would you believe that guy's a dude?" he said.

Number eight looked to Cinderblock. "Not really," he said scrunching his nose.

"To be serious, I think it really is a girl," added number one.

"Well, there's one way to find out," said number three with an evil grin.

On set...

"And, action!" shouted the director.

Lasers fired at Cinderblocks back. The stone villain turned with a snarl. He stood full height shifting his weight to hit the ground, then stopped. His tiny eyes grew wide and a painful "d'oh" slipped from his mouth. On the set different "oos" and "ahs" could be heard from the viewing crowd. Cinderblock's hands held his groin area while tears streamed down his face. He fell to his knees first, causing the ground to shutter. Then he fell into a fetal position on the ground. Around him the ground crunched under his weight so that he was lying in a crater. "Cut! Medic!"

Breaking in:

Cinderblock stops his outraged destruction upon hearing Beastboy's words. "You know, Cinderblock, the bad guys usually break out of jail."

"Why are you complaining, this makes the job easier," Robin cut in. The other four titans plus Cinderblock each stared down Robin. In turn the boy wonder glanced at each set of eyes. "Oops...not my line," he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. There were several face palmed. "Let's do this again," the director growled.

Count down:

_Take one:_

Cinderblock stops his outraged destruction upon hearing Beastboy's words. "You know, Cinderblock, the bad guys usually break out of jail."

"And I can think of five good reasons why you don't want to break in," Robin's voice carried through the holding cell. He leaped across the floor and landed in a crouch.

"One!" he said. Just then both Starfire swoops in and Cyborg jumps to the scene. "Two," they said in unison. They glanced at eachother. "I believe I am the one to say 'two'," Starfire said.

"Really? I could have swore I was number two," Cyborg answered as he scratched the back of his head. Behind him, Beastboy began to snicker. "What's so funny?" Cyborg turned to his green friend.

"Dude, you said you were '_number two_'," Beastboy's laughter began to grow to a fit of chuckles. Cyborg was not sure what the changeling was getting at. Then it hit him. First his face flushed red from both anger and embarrassment. His fists began to clench. He tried to reason with himself not to harm his young friend... it had just been a play on words that he had fallen into on his own, but then Beastboy said _it_. "So is that why you're brown?"

Everyone and everything froze. Robin, Cyborg, Cinderblock and the camera crew's jaws dropped. Though more concealed, Raven even held a look of surprise. Starfire however was simply confused as to why everyone was reacting to the comment. Beastboy's laughter suddenly stopped when he noticed everyone was starring at him. "Way to be Racist," Raven commented.

Suddenly, all sense of Cyborg's control was let loose. "I'm gonna get you you little grass stain!" he yelled. Beastboy screamed and ran with Cyborg charging after him. After a few minutes of watching a wrathful Cyborg chase down a fearful, snivelling Beastboy, Raven walked away. "I'll be in my trailer," she said.

_take two:_

Cinderblock stops his outraged destruction upon hearing Beastboy's words. "You know, Cinderblock, the bad guys usually break out of jail."

"And I can think of five good reasons why you don't want to break in," Robin's voice carried through the holding cell. He leaped across the floor and landed in a crouch.

"One!" he said. Just then both Starfire swoops in. As she comes to a hault she cries out, "two."

This time Beastboy and Cyborg come to the scene. "Three," said Cyborg at the same time as Beastboy said, "Thr... hey wait. I'm suppose to be three. You're four."

"No I'm not!" Protested Cyborg. "Your four and I'm three. I looked over the skript after messing up last time."

"Dude! I'm totally three! Look." Beastboy held out a rolled up booklet. He unrolled it and on it in bold letters read: Divide and Conquer- Beastboy's script.

Off to the side... "When did he get his skript? Was he carrying it on him person?" Starfire whispered to Raven.

"I think he keeps it in his pants," Raven whispered back. "Probably why he always has a bulge in the front." After a moment of silence passed between them Raven looked at Starfire shocked face. "What?" she asked.

"I did not know you look at such an area on our friend," Starfire answered. Stock silence befriended the two as they just staring at each other. Starfire had a look of innocence while Raven had a usual placid face. "We never speak of this again," Raven said forcefully. Silence again. Then..."He must have plenty of room to hide it there," Starfire inquired. Raven's eyes snapped open as she starred in shock at Starfire. The alien girl simply watched the happenings between Cyborg and Beastboy. Raven then shut her eyes tight trying to rid herself of the mental image Starfire had so innocently provided.

Meanwhile... "I told ya I already looked at the script," Cyborg answered. He took the book from Beastboy and read the first page. Sure enough, on Beastboy's line was "three" and bellow it had Cyborg at "four".

"What, that's not right," Cyborg opened an compartment in his shoulder and pulled out another rolled up booklet. When unrolled this one read: Divide and Conquer- Cyborg's script. He quickly flipped the book open and read the opening lines. "See," Beastboy stated proudly as he puffed out his chest.

"Hold on, my script says that I have three and you're four," Cyborg said looking over both scripts at the same time.

"What?" Beastboy stood up on his tippy toes to see over Cyborg's shoulder.

"Yeah, right here, see..." He lent the books down for Beastboy to see properly. The green changeling read over both books again and again. "Well, mines the right one, so I'm three," Beastboy stated matter-of-factly.

"No, your's is wrong, I'm number three," Cyborg responded.

"no, I am."

"No your not."

"Am too!"

"Am not."

"am too."

"Honestly, do I have to separate you too?" Raven cut in.

Five minutes later....

Cinderblock stops his outraged destruction upon hearing Beastboy's words. "You know, Cinderblock, the bad guys usually break out of jail."

"And I can think of five good reasons why you don't want to break in," Robin's voice carried through the holding cell. He leaped across the floor and landed in a crouch.

"One!" he said. Just then both Starfire swoops in. As she comes to a hault she cries out, "two." A green tiger jumps in. After landing the creature turned into Beastboy in all parts except head and one arm. That quickly changed as he said, "three."

Raven dropped into the scene with her arms out stretched for spell casting, "four."

Finally, Cyborg slammed in. "Five!" he yelled. The five heroes stand at the ready for what ever fight Cinderblock may bring. "And cut," called the dirrector. All characters relaxed, each relieved to be over with the scene. All except Cyborg. "I know you said you were going to split us up, but I didn't think you meant in the count," he said. Raven merely smirked to herself. "I did what I had to," she answered.

"But why did I have to be last?" Cyborg continued to grumble. Starfire floated next to him. She gently patted his shoulder as she said comfortingly, "Do not worry friend. I believe Raven's choice was simply so she could watch Beastboy more closely. After all, he is not clothed when he is in the form of an animal."

"Starfire!!"

First Fight:

_Take one..._

The Titans raced in to fight with Cinderblock charging forward. Robin lands a solid kick that staggers the foe. Cinderblock turns around just in time to be caught in a shower of star bolts in the back, courtesy of Starfire. Cyborg comes in with a right hook. Cinderblock manages to block it, but the force still knocked him back. A hawk form Beastboy swooped in repeatedly scratching his talons on the rock being. Cinderblock attempted escape to another corner but Raven stands off in front of him. With a quick cast the floor is lifted vertically until it forms a barrier.

No barrier will stop Cinderblock though! Raven barely had time to move out of the way as the rock beast crashes through the barrier. The attack continues but Raven flies away soon replaced by Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg. They rush him as he continues to charge. With one great swipe the two male Titans are knocked back. With concern for her fallen team mates, too late does Starfire realise the monster has her in it's grasp. She struggled for freedom with her eyes glowing green with her rising furry. Then she stops. "You have very large hands," she inquired innocently.

"Cut!" yelled the dirrector. "Star, come on, don't you remember your lines? I let you write this line yourself!"

"I do remember what I was suppose to say but I am merely pointing out how enormous his hands are," Starfire answered as Cinderblock set her down.

"I'm big boned!" Cinderblock whinned girlishly.

"I am sorry if I have insulted you, but I remember once being told that males having large hands means something here on earth," Starfire's features became one who was pondering deeply. Some of the women in the crowd began to giggle realizing what Starfire was talking about. The alien princess only seemed to be more confused as she searched her mind to what it meant. Frustrated in her lack of remembering she turn her attention to Raven. "Please tell me again what it means," Starfire pleaded. All eyes turned to Raven would had the smallest tint of pink. Silently, she turned on her heal and walked off.

_take two..._

The Titans raced in to fight with Cinderblock charging forward. Robin lands a solid kick that staggers the foe. Cinderblock turns around just in time to be caught in a shower of star bolts in the back, courtesy of Starfire. Cyborg comes in with a right hook. Cinderblock manages to block it, but the force still knocked him back. A hawk form Beastboy swooped in repeatedly scratching his talons on the rock being. Cinderblock attempted escape to another corner but Raven stands off in front of him. With a quick cast the floor is lifted vertically until it forms a barrier.

No barrier will stop Cinderblock though! Raven barely had time to move out of the way as the rock beast crashes through the barrier. The attack continues but Raven flies away soon replaced by Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg. They rush him as he continues to charge. With one great swip the two male Titans are knocked back. With concern for her fallen team mates, too late does Starfire realise the monster has her in it's grasp. She struggled for freedom with her eyes glowing green with her rising furry. "I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am stronger than I look," she said. Starfire drew back her foot and set forth a powerful kick.

Once again Cinderblock's eyes grew wide. He groaned as he let go of Starfire. She dropped to the ground and stared up as the giant held his man hood for the second time that day. "Call a doctor," he whimpered high pitch before falling to his side. The forced caused a large enough shock wave to lift Starfire off the ground. As the director called for a medic for the second time, the only other thing heard was Cinderblocks pathetic whimpers about people having it out for his basement buddy.

Hit and miss:

Robin jumped onto the stone bemonth's back and grappled the giant in an attempted head lock. The great monster thrashed about in random directions trying to shake off Robin. No matter what he did the teen hero would not let go. Cinderblock grabbed a nearby girder pulling up some of the floor while he yanked it from it's place. "Thrashing only makes me hold tighter!" Robin yelled. Furiated, Cinderblock slammed the girder towards Robin. Robin leaped out of the way just in time. Instead the girder continued it's path and smacked Cinderblock in the back of the head.

Cinderblock looked dumbfounded as his whole body suddenly cringed with the impact. Everthing seemed to stop as the girder fell from his hands. His large stone body seemed to freeze. Then, sensing what was coming, Beastboy yelled out, "Timber!" Sure enough, the large brute Cinderblockfell forward out cold. An earthquake erupted in the wake of his fall. The director sighed as he turned to call for the medic. He was surprised to find they were already on set.

Yo Mama:

The pair turned to face off. "You got a problem, tin man?" Robin growled.

"Ya, It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel!" Cyborg yelled back.

"Ya, well your an over sized klutz whose feet smells like motor oil," Robin hissed.

"Ya, well yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed!" Cyborg equally hissed. Suddenly, Robin's face went from anger to a pitiful version of sadness. He was suddenly like a small child and tears formed under the rim of his mask. "Mother..." He whimpered. Cyborg suddenly stopped the mime. "Woah, uh, hey...hey come on man, you know I'm not serious," he tried to explain. "It's in the script." He pulled out his script and flipped through the pages until he found the right scene. "See, look," he pointed to the page. With each passing second Robin grew more and more depressed.

Not far off the director was smacking the script writer over the head with his own copy of the script.

Spider:

Cinderblock walks into the light. He throws down the container of 385901 on the floor. Slade begins with his calm voice, "Cinderblock. I see your mission was a..." For a moment all was quiet. Then, a scream more girlish then any even a three year old girl could commit echoed through the area. "Spider! Get it off! get it off!" Out of his hiding place Slade danced about trying to get the tiniest spider off his shoulder. The little creature crawled towards his back out of reach of the grown man's thrashing arms. No one knew what to do as they watched the display unfold. Eventually, the spider crawled onto Slade's mask. Horrified he threw off his mask with the spider flying with it. The tiny arachnid raced away from what it believed to be an insane human.

Seeing the beast running away Slade calmed. He fixed himself up and straightened out the wrinkles in his shirt. He carefully collected his mask as if the spider was still on it and then returned it to his face. He cleared his throat once. "So... um... where were we?" He said in his unusual tone once again.

Ghostbusters!:

Plasmus consumed each can of toxic waste he could get his hands on. With each can he grew in size. As he went to drink one more, a star bolt exploded the other end. the waste oozed out away from his mouth. Surprised, he looked through the can at the opening on the other end. Like a telescope it zoomed in on the reason his meal was interrupted; the Teen Titans had arrived. "That stuff can't be good for you," Robin said. Plasmus sneered before letting out a great belch. Beastboy laughed, "Nice one!"

Suddenly, a strange siren echoed over the set. The set doors slammed open with four silhouettes. A familiar song played behind them.

_If there's something strange, __in the neighbourhood..._

_Who ya gonna call?_

As the next line was shouted out the four figures came into the lighting to reveal... "Ghostbusters!" Beastboy shouted with the song. The other Titans stared hm down. "What, it's a catchy tune," he said. Sure enough, the four ghostbusters walked in wearing their uniforms and weapons at the read. "Um, can I help you?" asked the director with a security guard on each side of him.

"Just stand back sir, we're professionals," said Dr. Peter Venkman.

"Excuse me?" the director's jaw dropped. The four busters pushed past. "Back away kids, this could get messy," instructed Dr. Raymond Stantz.

"Kids?!" Robin said outraged. He and the other Titans were directed off the set by Winston Zeddmore. Meanwhile, Dr. Egon Spengler held out a ghost reader. "Guys, this guy is off the charts!" he said.

"Escuse me," Plasmus said with a heavy lisp. "but what's going on? I thought my cousin was in your movie."

"It talks!" Raymond gasped.

"Hold it steady man," Peter encouraged. He set back the ray, ready for an attack. "Go!" he said. With that each ghostbuster let loose an attack with his gun. Plasmus screeched as the beams captured him in it's painful binding. "Winston, get the trap," ordered Peter. Winston qickly tossed a small box contraption under-neath Plasmus. It opened with a screech and sucked Plasmus inside with great force. "AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Plasmus screamed as he was sucked into the contraption. Just as the last of the beast disappeared into the machine it slammed shut and the music outside sounded as if it was coming to an end. "Job well done men," congratulated Peter holding up the smoking trap.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack of a bat. Peter's eyes went crossed and he fell forward dropping the trap. Behind him stood the monster master. "Give me back my baby," she growled smacking the bat into her palm. "Or I'll be busting your balls next." The three men gulped and pushed the trap to her. She smiled cutely, grabbed the trap, and skipped off. As they watched the woman leave, Egon held out his ghost reader towards her.

Freeze!

Raven just manages to push Stafire out of the way of Plasmus' attack. Frustrated, Robin drew a disc from his utility belt. "Maybe he just needs to chill," he said. With that he threw the disc at Plasmus. It hit the giant glob with great force, but nothing happened. Plasmus looked down at the disc. "Isn't thisp suppose to esplod?" he said with a strong lisp.

"Yeah it is," pondered the director. "Someone get the tech crew."

A few minutes later the tech crew pulled the disc from Plasmus' arm. "I don't see why it didn't work," said the first. He handed it to his comrade. The second looked it over and shrugged, equally confused. Then it was handed to a third party. He glanced once and said, "Oh here's the problem! the switch is off!" He flicked it on. Too late did his comrades realize what he had done. "No!" they just managed to shout before the disc exploded and froze them as they stood. The director looked over the three figures trapped in ice. Then he looked to his crew. "Make sure for season five the Brotherhood's evil plot involves freezing," he said. Just as he was about to walk away three groans echoed from the frozen beings.

The director looked at them. "Oh right, and someone thaw them out," he added with less care.

Present:

Beastboy cut in the joy, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, warm fuzzies all around. But we still gotta stop Cinderblock." Cyborg grinned in response. "No we don't," he said. "Thought I'd bring a present, 'case you were still mad." He gestured behind him where Cinderblock lay wrapped up in the equitment he was carrying for Slade. To add to the villain's humiliation of being defeated and captured, he wore a bright pink tutu two sizes too small and wrapped in a bow. Tied to his nose was a tag saying "To the Teen Titans".

"Cut!" the director yelled.

"Finally," sighed Beastboy.

"Wait, I thought there was more to this scene," Robin answered.

"Yes! You and Cyborg are to converse of someone else doing the planning as if we do not know it is Slade when in truth we do know it is Slade but the viewers do not know we know because by this part of the story we do not know," Starfire said all in one breath. There was many anime sweat drops as they tried to register what she had said. "Right," Raven was the first to speak. "So why are you calling cut?"

"The tutu! A pretty bow?! Even a tag?! this is just two much," the director explained. "Cinderblock, get ride of the tutu, bow, and tag, and be ready in five."

"But I want to where my tutu!" Cinderblock squealed. "I look pretty in it!"

"It's too much, you got to loose it," the director argued.

"No!" Cinderblock whinnied. He started to throw a childish hissy-fit. Throwing himself about the best he could while still bonded. Out of no where Slade came into the scene. He took one look at Cinderblock and spoke, "Good thing this episode is over." The Titans nodded.

"So, you guys want to go get a coffee?" Slade continued to talk.

"Don't see why not," Robin answered as he turned to leave.

"Tea for me," Raven cut in as she followed.

"Oh yes, I would like the drink filled with honey I had yesterday," Starfire said gleefully.

"Decaf for the green dude," added Cyborg.

"Hey!" Beastboy protested.

"What? you're bad enough without caffeine," Cyborg retaliated.

And so it was that Slade and the Titans went for coffee while Cinderblock demanded to where his tutu. Plasmus spent several weeks in therapy after his encounter with the ghostbusters and the director was left with a headache the size of Jupiter. Just another day on set. I can't wait to see what will happen next episode!

**The End**

_Alright! first ep done! Woot! I will be going in order of episodes so if you want the ones in the later seasons you'll be waiting awhile. If anyone wants to suggest something for the later eps feel free to review or PM me. Thanks for reading._

_Nemarra out!_


	2. Sisters

_Hello! _

_Quick note: Forgot to mention I do not own anything. Teen Titans belong to DC and Cartoon Network. _

_Welcome to Bloopers and Behind the Scenes of our fav show; Teen Titans! Pretty much I'm going through every episode and making up stuff for the purpose of comedy and anti-boredom. Episodes are in order so stay tuned for jokes about your personal favourite Episode :)_

_I would also like you all to note everything said and done is strictly parody and is not meant to offend anyone._

_Without further a due, Let's begin!_

**Sisters**

Cotton Candy:

In the romantic evening the fireworks go off high in the sky. Patrons "oo" and "ah" in wonder of the gorgeous display. The most astonished of them was a young alien princess seated upon the carnival Ferris wheel next to her team leader. "Beautiful. Tell me again what they are called," Starfire asked still amazed.

Robin smiled as he answered, "Fireworks." Just then, more lit up the sky. Starfire's features become that of concern. "On my home planet, such explosions would mean the Gordanians were attacking. You are certain Earth is not under attack?" she asked.

"Positive," he answers. He held out a pink wad of cotton candy. "Cotton Candy," he offered. She looked at it wearily before responding, "The last time I ate a ball of cotton, it was white. and..." she trailed off. Then she looked on angrily at the film crew. "Which ever of you found out I had once eaten cotton?" she demanded. Her eyes flashed green. "I shall punish whoever wishes to humiliate me in this episode!" Suddenly, all fingers pointed to one man. He gulped when Starfire's enraged gaze turned to him.

The Chicken:

_Take one..._

Beastboy and Cyborg happily cheered as the ring circled around the bottle. "Boo-yah!" Cyborg bellows.

"Sweet!" Beastboy said with just as much excitement. Nearby, leaning against a post was Raven. She obviously held a distaste for the current festivities as her two team mates played carnival games. She was surprised to find a giant chicken being handed to her with Beastboy saying, "Told you we'd win you a prize." Raven groaned as she looked at the enormous stuffed animal. "Do I have to say it?" she asked the director.

The director sighed, "Yes. Come on, it's not hard to say."

"I still say it should be changed," grumbled Raven.

"Alright, from the top," ordered the director.

_take two..._

Beastboy and Cyborg happily cheered as the ring circled around the bottle. "Boo-yah!" Cyborg bellows.

"Sweet!" Beastboy said with just as much excitement. Nearby, leaning against a post was Raven. She obviously held a distaste for the current festivities as her two team mates played carnival games. She was surprised to find a giant chicken being handed to her with Beastboy saying, "Told you we'd win you a prize." Raven accepted the gift with distaste. She prepared to say her line, but could not do it. "Please, can I have it changed?" she begged.

"No!" the director yelled. "Now once again. Raven, so help me if you refuse your line one more time!"

_take three..._

Beastboy and Cyborg happily cheered as the ring circled around the bottle. "Boo-yah!" Cyborg bellows.

"Sweet!" Beastboy said with just as much excitement. Nearby, leaning against a post was Raven. She obviously held a distaste for the current festivities as her two team mates played carnival games. She was surprised to find a giant chicken being handed to her with Beastboy saying, "Told you we'd win you a prize." Raven accepted the gift. She secretly spared a glance towards the film crew before saying her line:

"A giant cock. I must be the luckiest girl in the world." It started as small snickers then erupted into great bouts of laughter. The entire cast and crew. Raven's face turned bright red. "Okay, I did the stupid line," she said. "Can we PLEASE move on?"

"Umm... Sorry Raven," the director calmed his laughter. "Because everyone started laughing we'll have to do it over again." The young teen look horrified at the idea. She dropped the chicken and ran off. A few minutes later, a trailer door could be heard slamming shut. "Um... in her defence," Beastboy spoke up. "Isn't this suppose to be a kid's show?"

"Yes," answered the director. "The line is actually 'A giant chicken', but I'm just getting back at her for hiding my peanut butter cookies."

"I thought you were on a diet?" Cyborg stated more than asked.

"Silence! Do not encourage the wrath of the director! Do you hear me!" The director gained the look of a mad scientist. Everyone moved away until there was at least five meters of space between him and them.

Apology:

The chase loops around the Ferris wheel and back to the pier, where Starfire stops just behind the rest of the team. Beast Boy is first to attack, leaping high and turning into an alligator to bite at the tentacles' bases-just barely missing. Raven levitates a nearby hot dog cart and heaves it at the oncoming vehicle, which crashes right through it. As the thing races past Cyborg, he grabs the tentacles and hauls on them with all his strength. Ever so slowly, he is dragged forward a few feet before bringing the craft to a stop.

"I don't know what you did to make this thing mad, Star, but it couldn't hurt to apologize!" Cyborg groaned as he struggled with the enemy.

"I am...sorry?" Starfire said unsure. Then her eyes flashed green and she began to beat the living hell out of the thing. "Sorry for letting you get the first move!" She continued to pound on it. "This is for attacking me!" another great blow. "And this is for being a pain to my friends." She continued to beat the thing while yelling random reasons she was pummelling it into pulp. "Should we stop her?" asked Cyborg as he backed away with the other Titans.

"No," Raven answered.

"But she's ruining the set and props!" the director was yanking on his hair. Raven sighed to herself. Out of no where a chalk board arrived with little doodles. The first one was a chibi Starfire, happy and bright. Raven took the pointer and brought their attention to the chibi. "You have one super powered alien princess," Raven started. She pointed to the next picture. It was words this time that read "+ PMS".

"Add premenstrual syndrome," Raven continued. Then she pointed to a chibi version of an angry Starfire.

"You get a very angry super powered alien princess." Then Raven pointed to a chibi of Starfire attacking the set and props.

"In which case anything that crosses her will suffer." Raven flipped over the chalk board to reveal the backside of it. On it was a chibi Starfire taking her anger out on chibi cast and crew. "Which includes people. So you see gentle men, if any of you want to face her now, make sure the medic is on stand by."

"Already am!" shouted the medic from off the side of the set. The gentlemen took Raven's explanation in stride, then each nervously gulped. "Maybe we should just let her be," Robin suggested. The others nodded vigorously in agreement. An hour later... "And... that...is f-for... grabbing...my...ass," Starfire panted completely exhausted. She looked down at the dust particles that had once been the machine. She turned to her friends, "I am sorry, I have forgotten what we were doing." Then she realized she was completely alone. Everyone had left.

Anything can happen:

The machine crashed through the planks. Robin just managed to leap onto it as it flew past. He looked about the metal surface. "Don't see an off switch," he said. "Guess I'll have to make one." He pulled out a red circle sticker from his belt and placed it on the machine's smooth surface. Then, with a magic marker from his pocket he wrote "off" underneath. Having finished his construction, Robin pressed the red sticker. At once, the machine jolted to a stop. With Robin along for the ride, it made a crash coarse for the water. With an enormous splash, some of the crew had little time to escape getting wet.

A short moment later, Robin could be seen swimming back to the dock. "Someone help him out," a crew member shouted. He had not needed to say anything as Cyborg was already helping the boy wonder back onto the dock. Once the soaked teen was out of the water he made his way towards his trailer. "Do I want to know how that worked?" the director asked.

"It's a kid's show," Robin answered. "Anything can happen." The director could feel his eye twitching as Robin walked away.

"Kid's show, right," he grumbled. "And I'll suddenly turn into a Unicorn named Charlie." In a poof of smoke the director was replaced by a unicorn. He looked himself over. "Fuck," he said.

"Charlie!" two unknown voices yelled. The director turned unicorn looked in time to see two unicorns racing towards him. One was pink and the other purple. "Charlie!" they cheered once reaching him.

"We've been looking for you, Charlie," said the purple in an eerie voice.

"Everywhere, Charlie," the pink one said just as eerie.

"Why did you leave us, Charlie?"

"We missed you, Charlie."

"Um.. I think you two have the wrong guy," said the director.

"No we don't, Charlie," started the pink one.

"We know it's you, Charlie," the purple one giggled.

"Now we can go on an adventure, Charlie."

"Yay! an adventure!"

"Where are you going, Charlie?" By now the director was making a full sprint away from the two strange unicorns. All the while running, he screamed.

Number:

_Off Camera..._

In a dark room with only a single light, the director and his script hand were working on a plot most devious. Well, not really...

"So what are we going to do about the 'Poem of Gratitude'?" asked the script writer. "We can't really have her say a poem. The story has to move on to introducing Blackfire."

"I know that," the director hissed. "We'll just have Blackfire interrupt before Starfire can start in on the poem."

"Then what would be the point to mentioning the poem?"

"Culture and humour reasons of course."

"But... it's not funny."

"We will make it funny!" the director said confidently. He had not noticed his script writer had moved away from him about a meter. "Now, how would we make this funny?"

"A ridiculously large number of verses?" the script writer suggested.

"No, that'll never work," the director answered as he paced. After a few moment, a light bulb flashed on over the director's head. He looked at the light bulb for a moment before snatching it from the air. Still a light, the director carried the bulb to an empty light socket. After screwing it in, he flicked a switch and the room awoke with bursts of light. "Honestly, I don't know why someone would build a room with single circuit lighting," the director grumbled.

"Maybe, because it's a laundry room," the script writer answered as he looked around the small space. The space that much more cluttered with added laundry materials.

"That doesn't matter now!" the director called to attention. "Now, I have an idea... We'll use... a ridiculously large number of verses." The script writer face palmed.

"Jee, what a clever idea sir," he said sarcastically. "Why didn't I ever think of that?"

"Because you're an idiot," the director answered as he patted his script writer on the head. "Don't worry, one day you'll be as smart as me."

"Hope not," the script writer said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." There was a moment of tense silence. Then, the director continued as nothing happened. "And I know exactly what number we can use too!"

_On Set..._

Starfire walked into the room as cheerful as ever. "Come friends," she said joyously. The background turned to flowers with her happiness. "I shall thank you for my rescue by reciting the Poem of Gratitude-all six hundred and sixty-six verses."

"Ok, hold on," Beastboy cut in. "Am I the only one that noticed that makes 666?"

"And your point?" the director asked. Just then, the sky turned dark. A giant figure appeared in front of the tower window. Forgetting her line, Blackfire screamed and grabbed onto Starfire. The equally terrified sister, clung to her older counter part. The other Titans and most of the crew had raced off leaving nothing but a puff of smoke in their wake. Soon even the smoke vanished. A single, clawed finger tapped on the window. The director was the only one to hold himself together. "Trigon, what are you doing here?" he asked the demon. "You're not suppose to be here until season 4!"

"My pager went off, someone call 666?" Trigon answered.

"It's part of a gag," the director responded.

"Well, get rid of it," Trigon growled. "I don't want my pager going off again or you'll be my new throw rug." The director flinched at this.

"U-understood," he said.

"Good," the enormous demon made to leave. Before he did, however, they heard him mumble one thing. "Honestly, in the middle of my Soap Opera no less. Marcus was just about to propose to Julie!"

Soda:

There was a moment of silence. Then, Blackfire spoke, "most fun things in life are. Now be a sweetie and bring me one of those sodas I've heard so much about." After she finished she returned to her story. Starfire made her way over to the refrigerator. While searching for a soda she muttered, "I see you have not changed either." Finding a soda, she grabbed it and closed the fridge.

"And, CUT!" the director instructed. "Nice work everyone. Let's take 15."

"Oh, good, that means I get to tell stories about Starfire from when she was little," Blackfire cheered. Starfire stopped where she stood. Her eyes wide and her jaw slightly a gap. She only knew what stories her sister planned to use to embarrass her! "Oh, Star, could I have that soda?" Blackfire added. Then she seemed to space out. "Hmm... oh I know the perfect story!" While her sister was distracted, Starfire decided she may as well prepare for the worst. She glanced at the soda can in her hand. Then, she smirked. With no witness, Starfire rapidly shook the can. "Okay, so this was just after Ryand'r- our little brother- was born," Blackfire began. Just then Starfire handed her the soda. "Oh, thanks," Blackfire smiled as she accepted it. "In English his name is Wildfire, by the way," Blackfire continued to tell her story to the three boys. She did not notice Starfire had disappeared. Blackfire pulled the soda can's tab.

At once, soda drink covered her entire torso. Blackfire screeched in surprise. Her now wet hair clung to her head in a sticky mess. She snarled and crushed the still half-full can in one hand. Then, she visibly calmed. An almost dark aura surrounded her. "Touché sister," she mumbled not caring if anyone heard. She turned her attention to the boys. "You know what, I just remembered an even better story," Blackfire did not attempt innocence in the slightest. "Do you wanna hear about the time mom gave Starfire 'the talk'?"

What are you looking at?

Three squid like machines shot up into their tub holders. Though there was three, there was four holders. A light flashed for each containment case as they locked in. Only the empty one flashed red. In the shadows, two figures stand analyzing their gathered data. "Our target was not located," the first claimed. "The drones have failed."

"Have they?" the second inquired. Though his tone had little interest to the subject. The first turned to see what his partner was so intrigued by. Upon his screen was something _indeed_ interesting.

"Oh My God! He's watching porn on set!" The first squealed like a frightened hog. His outburst brought the second out of his trance.

"What? No I'm not!" he proclaimed as he flicked the screen. Unseen, he also did up his costume zipper. The director called cut and stamped over to the control panel. He stopped a moment, snapped his fingers, and was instantly presented with a step latter. After scaling it he stared down the actor, "Well?"

"I swear, I'm not!" The director glared more. "I mean it." The director continued to glare. Defeated, the second actor pressed the screen again. It flicked back to his earlier show. "I can't believe this! How dare you bring this on set... and not tell me! Like Jeez, I'm a man too," the director scolded.

"Er.." was his only response. It did not matter as the director's attention had moved to the couple on screen. "Oooo, Passion 3, I love this one," he said gleefully. His attention lingered a moment longer. Then he peered at the people around him from the corn of his eyes. His head snapped round to glare at the second actor as serious as possible. "I'll be confiscating this," he declared.

"What? Fuck no. It took forever to get it!"

"It's an inappropriate distraction that must be done away with."

"Yeah right, you just want the chance to jack off to my precious!"

"That may be, but I'm your boss so you have to do what I say. So Nah nah, gimme!"

"No."

"Gimme!" this time the director tackled... or at least attempted to tackle... the metal clad actor. The set was filled with a loud _bong_ as he slammed face first into the metal suit. The director fell to the ground. As others gather to check on him, he jumped up unfazed and a large red imprint on his face. "Take this!" he yelled as he held out a remote. He clicked the only red button on it and in seconds the actor's costume fell away to reveal a midget on stilts. The entire set fell silent at the sight of the male midget's hello kitty panties. The small man looked at his exposed self, then glared at the director. With a great battle cry he tackled the director.

As the brawl broke out, Starfire and Robin walked in happily chattering with each other. They stopped upon seeing over half the crew dragged into a fight. "Should we come back later?" Robin asked. Somehow the a bloodied and beaten director had pulled away from the fight. "Yeah, another hour should about do it," he answered as he returned his torn sleeve in place.

"I'll tell the others then," Robin made to leave when he noticed Starfire was distracted. He looked over her shoulder and visibly paled. "Hmm... what a strange position," Starfire comment. That was enough to send Robin running half dragging Starfire with him while shielding her eyes from the smut film.

Migorian Plat-nar

"Not at all," Robin shrugged. "Blackfire was just showing me some alien martial arts. How come you never taught me these cool moves?" Starfire lowered her head. Her features clearly showing sadness. Of course Blackfire had to jump on to Starfire's already dismal mood. "Probably because she doesn't know them. I always was the better fight," she gloated. Starfire was forcing herself not to giggle.

"Cut!" the director shouted. Seeing she was free to laugh, Starfire burst out in a giant laughing fit. Blackfire gritted her teeth as she glared at her laughing sister. "Starfire, why are you laughing," Robin asked.

"Yes, _sister_, you're suppose to be depressed in this seen," Blackfire hissed venomously.

"I just feel…*giggle*…. It is funny you say you are the better fighter…when…" Starfire could not continue due to a continued laughing fit. People began to prod Starfire encouraging her to continue. Blackfire's glare intensified. Had Starfire looked, she might have noticed the subtle warning for her not to continue. Not that she would have listened anyway. "My sister could not have been a good fight for she… she was highly unfit." Though the statement was a more polite, Starfire could not help removing a picture from her pocket to show everyone. On it were the pair of sisters. Starfire looked the same as she did now, only she was much younger in the photo. Blackfire, however, was a whole other matter. It was as if someone had over filled a balloon Blackfire look alike.

"You mean to say Blackfire… was a fat child?" the director asked.

Starfire nodded her head, "To the point she could not even fly!" At that, Blackfire tried to tackle Starfire. Starfire expertly moved out of the way. "Come now sister, you have no reason to be upset. You are quiet lovely now that you do not consume as much as a Migorian Plat-nar."

Blackfire's jaw dropped. Once again her posture became dangerous. All around, alarms rang of danger to come. Cast and crew began to take shelter as though faced with a bomb threat; which they probably were. "I. Do. NOT. Eat as much as a Migorian Plat-nar!" KA-BOOM!

_Later…_

Two sisters lay in hospital beds side by side. For both, most of their bodies were wrapped in casts and gaze. Blackfire was silently glaring off into space refusing to speak to Starfire. Starfire sat quiet unsure what to say. The moment of tense silence linger a moment longer before Starfire could take it no more. "Sister," she started.

Blackfire cut her off, "Don't even start."

"But if you will only listen…"

"I don't want to hear it Starfire."

"But…"

"No!" The room was silent once more.

"I had only made the comparison because it seemed most fitting to your younger self," Starfire muttered. In the blink of an eye, Blackfire was trying to grab for Starfire, but could not with her restricted movement. "I swear I'm gonna kill you!"

Outside of the room some crew members and the other titans cast- whom had all come to see how the sisters were doing- watched the display. "Maybe they should have been put in different rooms," Cyborg commented. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Stand in

The director looked over the cast and crew. "I have good news, everyone," he announced with a smile. Everyone tensed. He just could not understand why they did that every time he said those words. "Seeing as we are short to of out actresses, I was going to call off all shoots until Star and Blackfire are better." Everyone broke out into joy filled cheers. Maybe he should have been a rodeo clown. With a sharp whistle, he regained their attentions. "As I was saying, I was going to cancel until further notice when I just so happened to meet a couple of people willing to play as stand ins until the sisters have recovered. Come on in."

All eyes grew wide as two people walked into the room. One looked like a man. The other _was_ a man… a cross dressing man at that. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Jackie and Sam."

The she-man was the first to speak, "Oh I am so glad to be meeting you all. We're gonna have the best of time together," then he giggled.

"Well said," the director smiled. "Do you have anything to say Jackie?"

Jackie looked over the crowd. With a simple nod, she said, "S'up?"

The director continued to grin from ear to ear. He turned back to his cast and crew, "Yes Beastboy?" he asked upon noting the teen boys arm was raised.

"Um… They don't look like.." women "Star or Blackfire," he said.

"that is perfectly fine," the director answered. "The next scene we are filming is at the party. Some trick lighting, a little voice alteration, and no one will no the difference." A loud fart regained there attention to the pair. "Oh my," Sam squeeked looking at Jackie.

"Ahhhhh, man," Jackie sighed with relief, "been holding that one in for a while now."

"Well better out than in, right?" the director laughed. He even added a fart for emphasis. The drag queen laughed slightly. "Well then I guess…" he said. _PPPPFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT._ It had been the loudest one yet. People began to gag. "Open a window," Robin begged; his eyes were watering. A crew member was already on it.

As if nothing had happened, the director looked to the titans. "Jackie, Sam… I'd like you to meet your co-worker. Robin, Cyborg, Beastboy, and… Hey, where's Raven go?"

_At the Hospital…_

"So why the sudden urgency for us to get better?" Blackfire asked Raven. The empath was currently using her healing powers to re-mend the sister's bones. "Believe me… You don't want to know," Raven answered. Her tone was enough for the pair to not bother any further questions.

Stand ins: part 2

_Once again in the meeting room…_

"Well, now thanks to Raven's amazing healing powers, our Tamaran sisters have finally returned," the director presented the two girls at the front of the room. Applause broke out among those gathered. Starfire smiled sheepishly to the praise while Blackfire just took it all in. "Unfortunately, that has left Raven out of commission for the day. I did, however, find a stand in…"

"No!" many people in the room cut him off. The director looked over everyone suspiciously. They looked around at each other hoping for someone to come up with a reason to their behaviour. Robin stepped up. "Well, I mean… the girls just got back, they should have time to relax first. And, uh… Beastboy has a cold."

"Huh?" Beastboy looked at him. Robin stared back hoping Beastboy understood. "Oh! Right, yeah," Beastboy added a few fake coughs for good measure.

"And most of the crew caught it," a crew member added. He and several others began to fake cough and sneeze.

"And Cyborg couldn't recharge last night because of the storm," Robin continued.

"What storm?" the director asked.

"Awe man, you mean you didn't hear it last night?" Cyborg jumped in. "It was just awful. The power outage made it I couldn't get even a volt into me." There were several quiet murmurs of agreement. The director stood unconvinced for a moment. Then, he shrugged, "I guess I slept through it. I am a sound sleeper." A collective sigh filled the room. "I guess we can just take a break today. But I need extra enthusiasm from everyone tomorrow." Everyone nodded happily. Some still pretending to be sick. Finally, the director left the room.

3...2...1... Everyone broke into cheers. "Thank goodness," Beastboy said to the boys. "Could you imagine he was planning to have stand in for Raven?"

"Probably some pris princess," Cyborg laughed.

"Or some really old woman," Robin nodded.

"Raven so does not deserve anything like that after helping out Star and Blackfire," Beastboy nodded.

_Outside the meeting room…_

"Sorry, Jessica, I guess we won't be needing your help today after all," the director apologized to the super model in front of him. "It seems everyone needs a day off."

"Oh, that's too bad," sighed Jessica sadly. "Well, just be sure to call me if you need me."

"Will do."

"Say hi to Aunt Jill, for me too, won't you Uncle D?"

"Of course, sweety."

Glitter

Raven watches from below as a third probe is battling with Starfire. Tangled in it's tentacles, the battling pair rise up before crashing through the sky light straight into a pile of crates. After a few moments, Starfire emerges… covered in glitter? Unaware, Starfire flies up away. "And scene!" The director shouts. Everyone relaxes. All except Starfire, that is who finally seemed to notice the mass amount of glitter covering her from head to toe.

"Okay, who put glitter in the breakaway crates?" growled the director.

Not far off, Blackfire bursts out laughing. "Starfire, you look ridiculous!" she said through her laughter. Then more smug she added, "See, little sis… I told you I would get you back for earlier." Starfire's eyes glowed green as star bolts formed in her hands. In no time, she was flying head long at her sister. Blackfire "eep"ed before she shot off.

"Follow them!" the director ordered excitedly. "We may just get out fight scene in today!"

Fail!

Robin raced as fast as he could. Without a moments hesitation he jumped off the roof reaching for Starfire. His fingers just millimetres away, but it was much too far. The ship flew back with Starfire captured in their grasp. As the boy wonder fell away, one of the alien crewmen shouted out, "Oh! Fail! What? I said a FAIL! In your face!" Then he broke out in a dance that looked like the cross between the chicken dance and the Macarena. Most of the film crew sweat dropped. The director leaned over and whispered to his editing crew, "make this is cut." They nodded without question.

Sister Fight

_Of camera…_

"Alright, girls, thanks to the glitter incident, we already have enough battle shot between you two," the director explained.

"WHAT?" Bother sister's eyes were glowing dangerously as they glared down at the director.

"I need to teach my little sister a lesson," Blackfire hissed.

"You will be the one who will be taught, sister," Starfire growled. Turning on the director she added, "We _will _have a final fight." The director shrank back staring fearfully at one sister to the other. Though there was a subtle spark of interest in his eyes. Shrugging slightly, he said, "fine, why not."

_Ten hours later…_

"Dude! They've been fighting for hours!" Beastboy complained. "Can't we just call cut and go get something to eat?"

"Green bean is right, we're all getting hungry," Cyborg's stomach growled as he spoke. The director sighed; he should have know this was coming. "Send in the crew men for the next part of the scene," he called.

The fighting sisters were shocked when a green tentacle grabbed Blackfire. "Blackfire of Tamaran, you are under arrest," the officer said.

"I'm busy here!" Blackfire complained as she struggled against the binds.

"I shall be the one to defeat my sister, thank you," Starfire shot down the officer setting Blackfire free. At once the pair were at each other's throats once more.

On ground level, the director came to a conclusion, "You know what, maybe we should just let them fight it out. They've got to tire out eventually."

_One week later…_

"Come on! You two can't possibly still be fighting? That's it, you bother are in big trouble. You hear me? BIG TROUBLE!" The director continued to yell, but his threats fell on deaf ears.

Not far off, four titans were busy playing cards. Robin looked up noticing the purple shade the director's face was turning from yelling. "Maybe we should help," he suggested.

"No," the other three answered calmly.

"Cy, got any threes?" Beastboy asked.

"Go fish," Cyborg answered. Beastboy picked up a card. "Raven, any Aces?" She handed the cards to the metal titan. Robin shrugged his shoulders and returned to the game.

Goodbyes

As the sun began to sink below the horizon, two sisters stood face to face on the tower roof. A few people stood nearby in case they needed to hault another fight. "I guess this is… goodbye then," Starfire said. Her voice was just the slightest saddened.

"I guess so," Blackfire answered. Her tone matched her sisters. "But… I'll be back in season three."

"That is true," Starfire smiled with the same hopeful tone. There was a silent stand still. Then, in one motion the sisters were hugging each other bawling their eyes out. "I do not wish for you to go yet!" Starfire cried.

"Me too!" Blackfire wailed.

"I was have the most fun in such a long time."

"I know. I had so many more things I wish to do to you!"

Starfire paused, "Excuse me?" She slightly pulled back to look her sister in the eyes.

"I said I had so many more things I wish to do with you," Blackfire answered smoothly.

"Oh," Starfire smiled. The sisters hugged once more; this time less clingy to one another. "I shall see you again soon," Starfire said.

"Like wise," Blackfire nodded as they parted. With that, Blackfire finally took to the air. Both sisters waving bye to the other.

Unseen by Starfire was a sign on her back that read, "I stupid". Blackfire had even drawn a cartoon-y head making a stupid face. Starfire had not been the only one to gain a sign, however. The moment Blackfire turned around to shoot off, her sign could be seen clear for a few moments. It read, "Caution: Known to vomit after eating". The word 'Caution' was in bright red to draw attention to it.

Giggling slightly, Starfire turned back to her friends. "I do hope she comes to visit between now and season three," she smiled. Though no one said so, most of them were really hoping not.

And so it was, the titans had succeed in another crazy adventure securing another episode into the archives. For the time being, they could relax. At least until next episode that is…

_Ho-ly Crap! This took me WAY to long to write. Not to mention length… 11 f-ing pages! That's NUTS! _

_Anyway, I hope you have all enjoyed this piece of Bloopers and Behind the Scenes. As I said, suggestions and reviews are always welcome. _

_See you guys next time in "Final Exam"!_

_~Nemarra_


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